Raising Young Children

By guest writer Debbie Togliatti

“Teacher Debbie, do worms talk?” Before I could respond with a resounding “I don’t know”, another child said: “Of course they do. You can’t hear their language because they’re under the ground”.

Children’s fascination of worms, these wiggly, crawly beings, make them essential to the health of any garden. Whether they are in the compost bin or just inches below the soil, the existence of worms continues to delight and amuse young gardeners. How often do I set off to the T’enna garden with grand plans to plant only to get sidetracked by a worm sighting? When this happens, work ceases as all the attention is directed to worms. They are held in trowels or right in bare hands. Sometimes the children place them on top of the soil so that they can watch how silently but steadily the worm makes it’s way back underground.

What’s all the fuss about these earthworms and what is the Jewish connection? “Even though you may think them superfluous in this world, creatures such as flies, bugs and gnats have their allotted task in the scheme of creation”, Midrash Genesis Rabbah 10:7. In T’enna’s garden, children are taught about Ohev et ha Briyot, loving all creatures, with earthworms getting star billing.

Here are just some of the significant contributions of worms: (1) aerate soil, improving the availability of oxygen to plant roots (2) improve water retention, decreasing the need for water (3) keep the soil loose, improving plant root’s capacity for growth and (4) breaks up hardpan soils. Those are a few scientific findings.

According to some Gesher children:
• “Worms are good because they make compost. They eat soft things like bananas and flowers.”
• “They make holes in the ground so that the water goes through for the plants.”

Actually, the children aren’t too concerned about all these worm attributes . All they care about is finding and holding them, saving them from harm and that somehow, the worms help the earth. And if the kids are helping the worms and the worms are helping the earth, well, you get it: we’re all connected.

Debbie Togliatti
T’enna Preschool Teacher

Does your child ever tell you that she or he does not want to go to school? I hear from parents every year that suddenly their child does not like school, does not want to go, and that it is so difficult to get them out the door.

Even if your child has adjusted well to preschool, chances are at some point he or she will tell you that he does not like school and does not want to go. I see this across all age groups. Children who have never had separation issues, will begin to cry when Mommy or Daddy drops them off. There are many reasons why this is so common. As parents we have a tendency to assume that there is something wrong if our child suddenly says she dislikes school. There is always the possibility that there is an issue that needs to be explored, and I always encourage parents to speak with the classroom teachers to find out if anything has changed in the school environment. Other times, there is nothing we can point to that can explain why children suddenly want to stop going to school.

At home, children explore and play freely, in ways designed to learn about the physical and social world in which they are developing. In school there are routines and structures in place that are designed for groups of children. There are teachers facilitating the play, and children work hard to be part of a group dynamic. As much as a young child enjoys all of the stimulation and socialization of preschool, there is no denying that it is hard work. This is why we try to create quiet spaces for children in our classrooms, use natural materials, and have calming colors on our walls. We want school to feel as comfortable and natural as possible, with spaces for social play as well as spaces for quiet solitude.

It is important to remember that resistance to school is developmentally appropriate. Young children are struggling with the internal conflict of dependence versus independence. They want to enjoy time with their peers, make discoveries on their own, and feel a sense of pride in their independence. At the same time, they still need the nurturing and safety of their parents. It can be very confusing to a toddler or preschooler to feel the push and pull of this internal struggle.

It may also just be as simple as the child longs for his/her less structured home life, misses the dog, doesn’t like the snacks, finds the classroom too loud, or is tired from working so hard. Play is children’s work, and in our corollary adult world where we go to our work everyday, treat our peers with kindness and respect, complete our given tasks, make numerous decisions, and spend our day surrounded by others, we get tired too.

I am sure that you can think of a time when you have felt overwhelmed, there is too much on your plate, and you just need a break. A young child may not be able to recognize or verbalize exactly what they are feeling, but they can feel the same way at times. It is our job as parents and educators to validate our children’s feelings and give them the language to express their needs.

The next time your child tells you that he/she doesn’t like school for no apparent reason, make sure he/she knows that you understand how hard it is to work all day. Make a plan to have some quiet time together after school, so you can both unwind from your busy day.

Caren

This time of year I often hear the question: Is my child ready for kindergarten?
As a former kindergarten teacher, it was my experience that the students who were successful in kindergarten were able to:
• Attend to a task
• Follow simple two-step directions such as “take your paper, then sit at the table”
• Finish what they started
• Problem solve and resolve conflicts
• Enter a play situation
• Effectively communicate with peers
• Interact with peers confidently
• Make new friends
• Respect limits set by teachers and parents
• Dress themselves and put on shoes (tying comes later)
• Use the bathroom independently
• Ask for help when needed
• Generally communicate their needs
The skills that many adults typically associate with kindergarten readiness such as reciting the alphabet, rote numbers, writing names and even beginning reading are really not relevant to kindergarten readiness. In a recent survey of kindergarten teachers, the most important factors in kindergarten readiness proved to be those related to social skills and self-regulation. Academics are the easiest thing to teach, whereas social skills are the most difficult.
This year, the kindergarten process is complicated somewhat by the change in age cut-off. The state of California is moving from a December 1 age cut-off towards a September 1 age cut-off for fall 2012, meaning that children must be 5 years old before November 1 in order to enter kindergarten. The following year, fall 2013, children will be required to be five before October 1, and in 2014, they will need to turn five before September 1. Some school districts will be offering a transitional kindergarten program for those children who miss the cut-off each year. This basically means that the children whose birthdays are between September 1 and December 1 have the opportunity to attend transitional kindergarten in the school district they will attend, before moving on to kindergarten the following year. There may be individual cases in some of the school districts where children in the transitional K can “test” into the regular K class mid-year. I encourage you to contact your local school district to find out what their plan is during the transition time.
If questions arise for you during this process, please feel welcome to call on me. I would be happy to share my opinion, experiences and expertise as a parent, a teacher and as an Early Childhood Educator.

Caren

Some words on Mitzvot from guest writer Ori Zadok:

Last Monday, the Oshman Family Jewish Community Center commemorated Martin Luther King Jr. Day with an annual day of social action which we call ‘Mitzvah Day’. The word “mitzvah” has become synonymous with the idea of ‘doing a good deed’. Just as Dr. King’s achievements are greater than a single deed, the term mitzvah is a much broader concept. Literally, the word mitzvah refers to a commandment given to the Jewish people, something you must do in order to be considered a virtuous person. For me, and for many people, there is no greater commandment than what the term “mitzvah” has become synonymous with: Tzedakah (doing righteous acts).

Part of our mission at T’enna is to instill Jewish ethics in the children we teach. As many of you are aware, each month a different classroom sponsors a Tzedakah project. Teachers and children discuss what they could do to help better the world and then they involve the rest of the community in donating items or raising awareness for a cause. We hope that this is just the beginning of creating a virtuous person. We hope that when they leave T’enna they will not only continue to participate in our annual Mitzvah Day, but find time to get involved in projects such as feeding the hungry (making sandwiches or helping at a soup kitchen), or find another way to give of themselves for others in need.

It is written in Pirke Avot that,” It is not incumbent upon you to finish the task. Yet, you are not free to desist from it.” One can interpret Rabbi Tarfon’s words to tell us that it is okay for us to be involved in only the beginning or a part of the process of repairing the world (Tikkun Olam) but it is not okay to avoid the challenge. Just like Dr. King did not live to see many of the great strides in equality that happened here in the US, we may not see the final results of our deeds; but it is the sharing of good deeds with our children and their children that we will continue to create a more perfect world.

by
Ori Zadok

T’enna Preschool Jewish Resource Specialist

Here are some ideas for keeping the focus on family and fun during Hanukkah written by guest writer and blogger Lisa Zadok.

It’s the holidays, and we all know what that means: non-stop toy commercials and marketing geared towards our kids. With all the toy hype, it’s no wonder our kids go “toy crazy” over the holidays. Well, with Hanukkah just around the corner you can be prepared to cut that craziness off at the pass and create a more family oriented experience – with toys on the side. Keep your kids focused on what’s really special about Hanukkah with these simple hints:
Collaborate on a Hanukkah Calendar: Grab a big poster board along with your kids’ favorite markers and create a family “Hanukkah Calendar.” Collaborate with your kids and decide what you will do on each night of Hanukkah, for example:
Night One: Latkes and Movie night
Night Two: Gift exchange and Dinner with Bubbe!
If your kids aren’t writing yet, simply draw a picture in each night to represent the activity. Decorate lavishly! It should be fun not only creating the calendar, but deciding what to do on each night.
Focus on Fun Together: When you’re making your Hanukkah calendar with your kids, focus on activities not only the gifts. Plan a game night, a music night, or an ice skating night so the fun is in being together. Plan on attending community activities together.
Give Tzedakah: Receiving gifts during the holidays is great, but learning to give a gift is also important. Allow your child to choose a charity of his or her choice and decide how to give to that charity. With young children you can go and buy a toy especially to donate to a worthy cause. Going to the donation station and giving the toy together can be a bonding and learning experience.

With these simple hints you can expand your Hanukkah experience. Enjoy the gifts, but keep in mind that our true gifts are our family and community!

By Lisa Zadok
Lisa is a T’enna mom, writer, playwright and blogger. Her articles have been published on Yahoo! And her one-act plays have been produced across the country.

Last week I had the pleasure of moderating a panel on kindergarten readiness; a topic that I know many parents deliberate over for months when their child is in Pre K.

Having taught kindergarten for 10 years, both in the public schools and in private schools, I have good insight into what it is that kindergartens consider to be “readiness.” In addition, I have been the parent of an aspiring kindergartener – twice – and have sat where many parents of four year olds sit today, wondering: Should my child go on to kindergarten or a young 5s program? What is the difference between a young 5s program and an extra year of Pre K? Which school setting is best; public or private? What is the age cutoff date and how will that affect my child? Is kindergarten really the new first grade?

To help you with your decisions, here are some things to consider:
• Can my child work independently and follow basic directions?
• Can my child take turns?
• How does my child handle disappointment?
• Does he or she exhibit self- control?
• Is he or she comfortable with crayons and scissors?
• Does my child have awareness of physical space and boundaries?
• Does he or she have general coordination on the playground?
• Can he or she recite songs or nursery rhymes?
• Can my child tell stories and engage in symbolic play?
• Can he or she perform basic self-help skills?

Answering no, to these questions does not necessarily indicate that your child is not ready for kindergarten. These are simply life skills that kindergarten teachers have indicated are important signs of readiness.

It is important also to remember that kindergarten teachers do not consider readiness in terms of academics. Rather, readiness is measured in terms of the ability to self-regulate. Self-regulation is using words to communicate needs, wants and thoughts. It is the ability to focus attention on a task or activity and to follow directions. Self-regulation is showing patience when appropriate and controlling impulses. It means being sensitive to the needs of others and having the ability to take turns.

These are developmental milestones that are the foundation for a child’s success in school. Your child is practicing these skills at preschool every day. You can help foster self-regulation by modeling language for your child to use: how to act when frustrated, and how to solve problems, for example. Help your child practice following rules when playing games. Provide a regular, predictable routine.

Most importantly, remember that every child has a unique set of qualities and develops at his or her own pace. So visit kindergartens, talk to the teachers and principals, and attend the open houses. When you find the one that is right for your child, you’ll know.

Caren

Taken from a newsletter to parents by T’enna Preschool teacher Courtlyn Schreiber

Socio-dramatic play is one way for children to express their fears and move beyond them.

Recently, a group of our preschoolers initiated pretend play with Teacher Sherrie Rose around the theme of taking care of one’s own health and supporting healthy habits.
4-year-old Jonah decided to give Teacher a “check-up.” Soon other children joined to assist. They used stethoscopes & wrote on her “chart.” They discussed taking medications and preventative measures such as making healthy eating choices. For example, one child told Sherrie Rose, “You can’t have any cookies.” Finally, they diagnosed Sherrie Rose with a “dying virus” and took her to “the hospital for surgery.”

Children are continually making meaning of the world. In this short experience, they showed us a window into their natural concerns and growing understanding of illness, health, doctors and even life and death.As educators and parents, we should not be afraid to talk with children about these serious issues.

Here are a few more tips on helping children deal with health-related concerns from the New York University Child Study Center:

“Contrary to adults’ fears, talking about illness, death, …will not increase a child’s level of distress. It is very important to engage in an open discussion about children’s feelings, fears and worries.

“Do not dismiss or ignore a child’s feelings. Avoid trying to cheer him or her up by saying it’s not so bad. Children can feel embarrassed or criticized when their fears are minimized. Exploring the issues and finding positive ways of coping helps children master their fear and anxiety.

“While you don’t want to shield your child from the truth, keep in mind his or her age and what is appropriate. The younger your child, the less information will be able to be absorbed at once. Keep answers brief, simple and age appropriate, and for very small children, repeat your answers if necessary.”

Caren

‘Tis the season for book fairs. Many schools host book fairs this time of year as fund- raising events. These purchases help our schools but they also help our kids.

Reading with young children has many long term benefits. Not only will reading with your child help build a stronger relationship with you, it will also help your child learn to communicate better. Looking at books and hearing how characters interact with each other teaches children the nuances of communication. It also helps promote a mastery of language and basic speech skills. Reading books with your child can help get them acclimated to new experiences and can also enhance concentration and self-discipline. Most of all, reading with your child is fun and creates positive associations for future reading.

For a list of great books to read with your infant, toddler, or preschooler, check out readtogrow.org

Caren

Lately we’re all trying to reduce white flour and sugar and increase fiber and whole grains in our kids’ (and our own) diets. Here’s an easy, seasonal recipe for Pumpkin Bread that you and your children can make together. They can measure, stir, mash, and taste. Not only will they enjoy the process of cooking, they’ll learn a little about measurement and chemistry at the same time!

Healthy Pumpkin Bread Recipe

•2 cups of canned pumpkin
•1 cup of olive oil
•1 cup agave nectar
•1 cup molasses
•4 eggs
•3 cups of whole wheat flour (or substitute with brown rice flour if you want gluten-free)
•1/2 cup ground flax seed
•1 teaspoon of baking soda
•1 teaspoon of salt
•1 teaspoon of cinnamon
•1 teaspoon of nutmeg
•1 teaspoon of allspice
•1/2 cup of chopped pecans for garnish (optional)
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Sift together dry ingredients – flour, flax seed, salt and baking soda.

Mix pumpkin, eggs, oil, agave, molasses and spices. Combine wet and dry ingredients, mix thoroughly. Add some tablespoons of water if too thick.

Pour batter into two well-greased 9-inch loaf pans. Sprinkle pecans on top. Bake 45-60 minutes or until center is firm and an inserted wooden pick comes out clean. Makes two tasty loaves.

 For more great recipes you can make with your kids check out this website.

Caren

My son broke my heart the other day.

He was upset we got home late because of my work because it meant no TV relaxation before dinner and a rushed supper he didn’t like. He blurted out “if you were a home mom, we wouldn’t have any problems!”

Sometimes I have that same exact thought! If I did not work, I would have time to go grocery shopping and prepare dinner. I could drive the kids to their afterschool activities and attend all their sporting events and shows. I could drop them off at school, get some exercise and clean the house. I would help them with their homework or just hang out and play with them. It sounds wonderful.

But the truth is, I like my job. I like being a teacher of teachers, helping other families on their journeys, and spending time in the preschool classes getting hugs and reading stories. I would miss the interaction with my staff and colleagues; working and learning together toward a shared purpose. And frankly, I need to work for a paycheck.

Like so many working moms, I am assaulted by media claiming I can do it all and have it all, when I know that for most people that is not the case. I have read articles about the ongoing dispute between working outside the home and working as a “Home Mom.” There is no one answer that suits everyone, for a whole variety of reasons.

Of course I didn’t say any of that to my son. What I told him was that if I didn’t have my job, we would have other problems. We wouldn’t be able to live in our house, or go out for dinner, or go to Disneyland, or visit Grandma in New York. He might have to change schools, and miss out on doing some of the things that he likes to do.

He asked, “Well wouldn’t you get paid for being a home mom?” I asked who would pay me. He said “the government.” What a great idea! But that’s a whole other topic for conversation.

For more on working mom’s guilt, check out this article on About.com

 Caren